Which Ark are you on? Trusting the Cosmos

Making progress in my career has always been a difficult area of my life and I have always envied and respected those people who are obviously attuned to their profession. Those people who have were at the right place at the right time and those who have a bottomless pit filled with grit, focus and determination.

You see my problem is that I have NEVER known what I wanted to do. I still don’t, and have no idea if there is a job out there that will allow me to read and research extensively (but only the subjects that appeal to me), spend the maximum quality time with my family and friends as possible and help as many people enjoy developing themselves as is feasible in the time I am allowed on this earth to tread my path.

If there is – I’d LOVE to hear from you.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who seems to have stumbled from one job to another with no sense of direction or 5 year plan. Surely WE must be in the majority as I’d hate to be one of the only ones who have been condemned to feel that I’ve ‘totally missed my calling’ somewhere along the way.

As I travel to and from work I look at all the stressed and unhappy faces I wonder why there isn’t a National ‘swap your job day’. Just one day where those that live in town ‘A’ but work in town ‘B’ say enough is enough and swap with those who live in town ‘B’ and work in town ‘A’. How great that would be to relieve congestion and pollution while at the same time seeing all those people reclaiming all that unnecessary lost time.

But that is why I have never had any focus in a career because I don’t really see the point in many of them. In one of my favourite books ‘A Hitch-hikers guide to the Galaxy’ by Douglas Adams (a trilogy in four parts) there was the tragedy of the Golgafrincham’s who fled there planet in three great spaceships in the wake of the destruction of their planet.

The people on the ships, called Arks, had been graded by the type of jobs they did and the first to be launched contained Hairdressers, Telephone Sanitizers, Management Consultants and Marketing executives. They then received a message that no-one else had escaped and that their planet had been destroyed.

This seems a sad story until you realise that the planet Golgafrincham creatively solved the problem of middle managers: it blasted them in to space. The useless third of their population had been packed in Ark 'B' and sent to an insignificant planet. It was quite poignant in the story that they then ended up landing on Earth and the inferrence is that they were our evolutionary ancestors.

Getting back to the point; I find while looking through Job sites, which has become a daily ritual for me, there are very few choices of career in which I can make a difference. There are reams of opportunities if your idea of benefiting the human race is to answer the telephone or sell people something they neither want nor need. I don’t want to ‘get rich quick – OTE’ and if I receive one more e-mail inviting me to take part in ‘a unique business opportunity that I can do from home’ I swear I’ll develop the technology to retrace the message and crush the company.

Maybe I’m too picky and I should send hope packing but I’m a good person and I try my best and feel in my heart that I deserve something better. So I’ve decided to take that Leap of Faith and throw myself on the mercy of the Universe and have decided to send out this message enveloped in Light and will do nothing until I receive a message which gives me positive direction.

“Dear Universe,
Please send me a worthwhile, enjoyable and well paid career without detriment to myself, my family, friends or connections. I ask that a positive message affirming this new direction be delivered by the 13th April 2007 as this will be my 37th Birthday. I thank you in advance for your guidance and assistance and thank Spirit for the wonderful and marvellous journey I am currently on, looking forward to future amazing developments. So mote it be.
Yours in Love and Light,
Damian”

Immediately after writing this I received an ‘urge’ to step outside remembering that it is One O’Clock in the morning in the UK. I went out and looked up to the sky and watched the clouds drifting past a full moon. It was really beautiful and I decided to say this message out loud while looking to the heavens.

I finished and a few moments passed until it seemed as the Moon glowed much brighter for a couple of seconds as if in recognition to the message I have just sent. The clouds then came in much thicker and blanketed the Moon in their marshmallow embrace reminding me that I should be tucked up under the duvet on this chilly night.

But I’d never leave without passing on the story to you, my friends, and we’ll all have to wait 9 days to see what may come into my life. I certainly hope it’s the missing piece that would enrich my life and that of my family even further.

Take care and remember to be positive in all your pursuits.

Damian

Hitting Self-destruct

Although I’m content with the progress I’ve made in much of my life there is one area where I’m still bogged down in a rut and can’t seem to make any progress on – my career. The job I have neither inspires me, challenges me nor provides enough by way of financial incentive.

Money is very tight and the strain is beginning to show and it is affecting most of my life in very negative ways. The strain put on my relationship is immense and the spare cash for doing things with the kids is virtually non-existent.

‘You don’t need to have money to have fun with the children’ I hear you cry, but YOU try explaining to your children why they can’t have an ice-cream next time you arw in the park. YOU try looking into the face of your child and saying ‘NO’ when they ask to go to the Cinema.

Sorry to impart the negative today but I feel that I need to offload and I’m hoping by doing this I can tap into my creativity, my Awen. I’m looking for inspiration in my writing and by placing myself wide-open to you all.

I’m not looking for someone to do it all for me, I wouldn’t let them – things happen for a reason and I learn by finding ways to overcome them. This is my journey and barriers will be placed in my way for me to adapt and overcome them.

I’ve tried to re-write my CV and placed it on job boards but only receive the ‘we invite you to take part in our new opportunity’ junk mail. I’ve spent hours pouring through the newspaper and job sites only to end up feeling disheartened and tired.

The major problem is that I simply don’t know what it is I would like to do, what career and environment would satisfy me, how can I make a difference to other people and still pay the bills, what is my purpose?

I guess this is the crux of the problem – why am I here and how do I reconcile that with providing for my family? The great question that litters Personal Development sites throughout the Net.

Now I’ve read the theory, I’ve tried the meditation, I’ve attempted Manifesting, I’ve endeavoured to reach my Higher Self and still nothing comes.

‘Have patience and persevere’ I here you say, but while I spend all my time doing these things life is passing me by, the clocks still tickking and the bills are stacking up. My relationship is breaking down and I’m close to reaching for my old friend - ‘the self-destruct button’.

Walking in the dark

This is a process that I’ve gone through a couple of times in my life and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I throw caution to the wind and go totally off-rail in the search of the real ME, casting off all attempts to be something I’m not – to be understanding when all I can see are my problems, to be upbeat when I’m hurting inside, to be hopeful when all I can see are the dark clouds gathering.

I chase self gratification with glee, look for quick fixes, follow false idols, cast off all that is Light and look into the void for meaning. This I do with one glimmer of hope – that I will see all that I may lose, that is dear to me, that I love through new eyes.

It is only when you walk in the dark places of life that you can clearly see yourself and all of your component parts. Stripped down down to your base level - just flesh and bone, hunger instict and desire. The foundations of your very Self that everything else relies upon to grow and develop.

It is not easy for me to be simply thankful for all that I have. I need to take it right to the edge and see in vivid colour what it is I may lose. Then it is much easier to see what baggage I have amassed and to shed it. To cherish what I have in my life that is pure and good - and to fight for it with renewed passion.

But I no longer need to do this as I am a Father. The process is much easier now as I need do no more than look into my child’s eyes and see that their hopes and dreams are tied to me in a way that no-one else can ever be.

They rely on me to direct them along their paths until the time is right for them to walk alone. But they will always know that they can return to me when they are weary and the obstacles become too great. They will always have a place on my path.

I will struggle and fight for them, I will overcome, I will persevere and I will provide the best start in life I can for them.

They are my world, they are my inspiration and they always will be.

Take care and thanks for listening - I really needed that!

Damian