Thursday, April 26, 2007

A spiritual Bacon Barm - 3 stories of me

Not a good day for me yesterday, it seemed that many of the pieces I saw falling into place just didn’t match the picture on the box. Many thanks to Kara-Leah for her well timed e-mail that appeared in my inbox just as I was packing up and heading for bed. Her words were just the lift I needed to take with me to my dreams and provide a spiritual band-aid for the metaphysical knocks and grazes of a draining day.

So up this morning with renewed vigour – got the kids packed off to school with a hug, a kiss and my wishes for a happy day tucked in with their lunch – then straight in the bath for a refreshing soak for me with no-one in the house to disturb my wallowing. How quickly the bubbles washed away the negativity of life and left me in a happy haze to think back on the lessons I have learned that may have seemed harsh at the time but brought a smile to my face as I lay there drifting buoyed by watery warmth.

I feel I have already lived a dozen lives and my aim to live a full life has already been met. Some sad times and some good, some self caused and some not, some tears and many smiles. The kind of life that many would not understand and others would fear to tread but never what I call a ‘flat-line’ life and may it remain that way. You have to have your lowest lows to know your highest highs, I always say.

Here a few stories that I’ll share with you and the lessons I learned from them. Please feel free to laugh with me as I reveal some moments that those of lesser steel would lock away and forget – but that’s not me – I feel it’s OK to find humour in others misfortune as long as you are willing to share yours to exchange their tears for a smile. I’m my own hardest critic and my biggest fan, I’m my demon and my saint, the first to pour scorn on my failings and my own best friend to offer the kindest word. That’s the way I learn from each moment and strive to be a better man.

Story One

One Christmas Eve when I was about 17, I thought it would be a great idea to drink several litres of Cider while in Manchester City Centre. Feeling a little worse for wear I headed for the bus to take me home where it was intention to go straight up to bed. Miraculously I managed to get on the correct, and very full, bus and found a seat upstairs where I could snuggle down and try and gather my thoughts enough to stay awake for the 40 minute journey home.

Everything was fine until around 15 minutes into the journey when I started to feel nauseous and headed downstairs to get off for some fresh air and to spare the other passengers from the image and horror of sharing the journey with a puking drunk – see I’m even public spirited when I’m wasted! I stood at the only door on the bus, by the driver, and saw that it was still some way to the next stop.

By now my stomach was churning and I was close to losing all control, “can you stop and let me off please I feel sick” said I to the Driver, “Hang on mate, you’ll have to wait for the next stop”, said he and carried on driving, I REALLY need to get off mate”, said I my head spinning, “No” said he. WHOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH came the vomit - akin to a scene from the Exorcist, covering the whole of the doors and filling the foot-well.

Again and again it came – wave after wave – until the bus pulled over and the dripping doors opened wide. I stepped off splashing as I went and didn’t look back as I crossed the street – caught my shins on a low wall and landed on some grass, quickly falling into thankful unconscious sleep.

Waking up some time later it took me all my strength and determination to place each foot in front of the other to plod my laborious way home. I arrived at home and put my key in the door, which was attached to a long dog-chain I clipped to my belt-loop (OK – I thought it looked cool at the time when I put my keys in my back pocket and the chain hung down in a loop). Just as the door swung open I slid to one side and my parents came to the door, summoned by the noise, to find me swinging from the chain, smelling of vomit and obviously very, very drunk.

The lessonif you are a Bus Driver and a drunken kid says open the doors the best thing to do is open them.

Story Two

You actually get two lessons for the price of one with this story. One happy Saturday morning just before Mothers Day many years ago I was lazing in bed when there was a knock on the door – I jumped up, grabbed whatever clothes I could find and went downstairs to see who it was. It turned out to be my younger cousin, Darren, and he asked me if I fancied walking up to the shops with him to get cards and gifts for our Mothers. Caught still dozing I quickly had a wash, brushed my teeth, grabbed a coat and put on my Doc Marten boots (apologies to my non-UK readers these are similar to Army boots).

We set off to shops and purchased the items for Mothering Sunday, thus ensuring that we would be welcome to stay at home for another twelve months. As it was now dinner-time we decided to meet with our Mothers who always spent Saturday at our Grandparents house. Fed and watered we headed to the playing field behind our Grandparents for a ‘kick-around’ with a few friends and a soccer ball.

All was well and I was in the process of spinning round to connect with a spectacular volley when – SNAP – Darkness – then I came round in intense pain. In my excitement I had forgotten that I was wearing the wrong footwear and although my body and leg had spun around 180 degrees my foot had stayed planted in the same place. After some fuss and some screaming and shouting on my part my Aunt drove her car on to the field and whisked me off to Hospital.

While waiting for a doctor and a free treatment room I realised that in my rush to answer the door that morning I had forgotten to put on any underwear. I confided this embarrassing fact in my Aunt which resulted in great mirth. I was diagnosed as having snapped the ligament off my ankle bone and my turn came to be wheeled into the treatment room to be faced with a young nurse.

She got the equipment ready to strap up my ankle and lower leg and then turned to me saying “You’re lucky, I think I can get your jeans off over the foot so I won’t have to cut them” – my face dropped – I hadn’t considered this. I looked at my Aunt with horror on my face and hers had a huge grin “that’s OK said I, my Mother can sew them back up – she’s good at sewing”. The nurse looked back at me puzzled and said “well if that’s how you want to do it” and cut my jeans up past my knee.

The lessonsyour Mother is right, ALWAYS wear clean underwear and never play soccer in Doc Marten boots.

Story Three

I used to have this small ritual each month where I would treat myself to whatever I fancied for breakfast on the way to work of the morning I received my Monthly pay. This was totally guilt free and calorie laden – my little pay day gift to me. This particular pay day morning I had set off for work and it was a GLORIOUS day – the sun was shining bright, the air was fresh and there was real promise in the air – you know, the kind of day where it seems that everyone you pass has a smile for you and the spring is in your step.

This particular day I’d decided that I’d have Fried Bacon and Mushrooms on a Barm with a drizzle of HP sauce (apologies again to my non-UK readers but trust me this is a very good combination - check the pic at the top). I was walking down the street to the Sandwich Shop and could already taste it on my lips – the proverbial ‘cherry on the cake’ for this marvellous day.

As I got to the shop I was so filled with anticipation and promise that I actually skipped up the two steps – caught my toe on the step – and fell FLAT on my face right inside. The other customers all turned round in unison and looked at me lying on the floor just as the Shop-owner asked “Can I help you?”, I replied still lying on the floor with my last shred of dignity “A Bacon and Mushroom Barm please” to which he answered “Sorry mate we’ve not got any mushrooms”. My defeat had become complete.

The lessonwhen all seems well with the world beware that last step.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these stories enough to want to add your own. Please feel free to write a similar article on your site linking back to here so I can follow your track-back (add a little link love) or alternatively you can add your story in a comment.

Please take the time to do this as I’d love to read your stories and see the lessons that you learnt. I’ve shown you mine now you show me yours – LOL.

Take care, Be the Change and SHARE your Wisdom,


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Striking a balance (1) - Parenting

I’ve been having a few difficulties reconciling some areas of life and wanted to share them with you. Some of these issues are with Parenting, others with Society, one or two with Spirit and most with Myself. They’ve been buzzing round my head and my feeling is that I can’t move on without finding a balanced view and an acceptable integration with them and my personal Belief system.

I’ll start the ball rolling with Parenting as this is I see as the most important role in my life. I’m in a strange place at the moment having four children aged 10 (A), 8 (B), 5 (C) and 2 (D). They all have vastly different needs and different backgrounds which makes for an interesting ‘blend’ and very real challenges. Bear with me on this and I’ll try to explain.

(A) is my partners first son who has no contact with his father and is just coming up to moving to ‘Big School’ in September. He has ‘adopted’ me totally as his Dad and we have a very close relationship where he talks to me about most things quite openly. He is soon approaching his SATS tests which will ‘decide’ his placement in Secondary School and probably the future course of his schooling. He is a very helpful kid and is absolutely brilliant with boys (C) and (D) but has no time or patience with girl (B). His biggest downfall is his ‘attitude’ and a very big mouth which often lands him in real trouble both at home and in school.

Here lies the first of my issues and it relates to his ‘attitude’ in general. Don’t get me wrong he’s no different than any other 10 year old boy but here’s the crux. During a number of conversations where I’ve attempted to invoke a strong work ethic, morals and identity he’s expressed the idea that it doesn’t matter what he does there will always be someone else to pick up the pieces. He has no grasp of personal responsibility, importance of choice or that his actions have an impact on others.

I recently attended an open evening with him at his soon to be Secondary School and they spent more time talking about their Social support structures than they did about Education. I came away feeling that I had Victorian values and he came away with his ideas about ‘having his hand held through life’ totally confirmed. Just what is happening when our children will leave school thinking that life is full of people just waiting to leap out and save them from the ‘Bad stuff’ – that is NOT the case.

I personally strive to make the world a better place but unfortunately I’m in the smallest minority. The Education system has a responsibility to help with my endeavours to guide and develop my children – but to do so in reality. It’s great to tell children they can be whatever they want to be if they only believe in themselves but I’m sorry that will lead to a lot of disappointed and frustrated adults.

There are only Eleven players on the England football team and I’m sorry but my eldest just hasn’t got the natural skill to be one. He tells me that he doesn’t need to work hard at school because he’s following his dream – WHAT! – even if I could afford to hire David Beckham himself for the rest of my sons life he’d still be lucky to play for a mediocre team. Thus comes a BIG issue – what do I do as a loving, supportive and inspirational parent – cut to the chase and destroy his dreams with a good dose of reality or tell him to follow a dream that will never happen?

So on to Child (B) who still regularly sees her father, every other weekend, and worships the ground he walks on. This isn’t sour grapes but rather a stark truth but the guy is one of the least responsible and lacks morals and ethics by the bucket-load. I drop her off with him each Friday night and pick her up again Sunday evening religiously because it’s ‘the right thing to do’. The girl needs to spend time with her father and I’d never step in her way unless she was in danger.

My issue with this is that he tells her not to listen to me and undermines my guidance. She is struggling at school and no matter what I do or say to try and support her she simply looks at me with a knowing smile. If we weren’t living in this ‘politically correct’ world I’d have quite happily given him a good hiding by now but I’m wise enough to know that this would be turned against me. He’s been a petty criminal most of his life and I know she sees this as exciting and fun. His idea of taking her out at the weekend is to a local pub that has swings so he can still drink with his mates while she plays. So here goes again guys – How do I sit back and watch someone I love dearly, under achieve because her Daddy just doesn’t ‘get it’?

Child (C) still lives with his mother with whom I still have a good friendship and child (D) is mine and my current partner's and both are thriving well – so no gripes there you’ll be glad to know. Thanks for listening and I look forward to your input on these and any other issues that you may wish to comment. I promise I’ll pen some more inspirational articles before moving on to ‘Striking the Balance 2’.

Take care and I send you Love and Light to face up to the challenges in your own life,


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Inspiration, support and dedication - the awards

Post number Thirty and I’ve been presented with a ‘tag’ in the form of a ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ by Titania from Finding Life’s Enchantments. This originated from Ilker at The Thinking Blog (the rules for the meme can be found there) and as the gauntlet has now been handed to me I’m going to ‘award’ five other people stimulate and motivate me to continue my quest. These people put everything of themselves into their writing and deserve my full praise and gratitude for the hard work and dedication they put into their articles and the consistency of the high quality of their posts.

My path has taken many twists and turns of late and I am turning to the Community of Blog for insight and knowledge more and more. The community and ideas fascinate me and I can spend whole days hopping from post to post seeing where the links on each site lead me. This has culminated in my attempt at providing a Terminal in the confusion of the Web where we can meet, play, rest and recharge – so why not make YOUR next hop to the Soul Terminal.

Whilst pondering over the development of
SoulTerminal.com I thought of the Primary locations that would define the Community, after some consideration I narrowed it down to –

  • a place for people to barter, trade and show off their wares (The Market-place),

  • a sanctuary for healing and a supportive word from another kind Soul (The Apothecary),

  • a venue to visit to be inspired by Music, Art, Poetry and other Spirit inspired creations (the Assembly),

  • a living vibrant environment for Learning, Wisdom and Knowledge where people can share the gems they have found (the Vault),

  • somewhere supportive to go to publicise and develop our skills and to advertise our abilities (Life Forge)

  • and in my mind I saw all these leading to a central point where we could all chat and share and meet companions on our Spiritual path (the Gathering).

I was visualising what it would look like and searching for an image that could act as a graphical representation of the place I wanted to create.

Just then I closed down the Windows on my computer and looking back at me was the image I had been searching for – only the day before I had changed my Wallpaper to that of a vibrant, swirling mix of Fire, Earth, Air and Water with a glowing White Light in it’s centre – a Pentacle.

Suddenly it all clicked into place – the energy I had felt culminating in the Centre, The Gathering, was akin to the theory of ‘Sacred Space’ and all the other elements would draw in energy relating to their own areas of Life to create a focus where Spirit could flow with ease encouraging Communication and Invoking the timeless power of the WORD.

This brings me to the first person on my list who is Slade from
Shift Your Spirits who has just launched his new site with the amazing post ‘Stars of the Apocalypse’ that sums up the theory of Soulterminal.com in a very real and artistic manner. He has reached new levels of enlightenment as an author with this article which is a MUST READ. I therefore hand him a Thinking Blogger award without hesitation.

The next person who has been a real inspiration to me and has helped me develop myself and therefore my writing is Debs from
Deb_Inside. She has recently opened up herself through her writing and you can FEEL the energy flowing through the page. Therefore Debs thoroughly deserves her Thinking Blogger award and I send her heaps of Light to assist her development.

K-L Masina and especially her post Now is the time to re-enter the Garden of Eden just has to be savoured and sheds a whole new light as she weaves all the strands together so eloquently. Kara-Leah has been a constant supporter of mine and pops by occasionally to offer words of guidance and support- and her site is one I stop by regularly to get a fix of Positivity. Therefore I offer her the Thinking Blogger award with great thanks.

Another wise and wonderful author is Jeff Lilly from
Druidjournal.net, his beautiful descriptions of moments captured during meditation and the skilful unravelling of his theories and observations mark him out as an outstanding source of inspiration and thought. Jeff is a very worthy recipient of a Thinking Blogger award and I offer it to him without hesitation.

Khlari @
Musings of Khlari is a fellow Author from the UK and her descriptions of her journey through life are wonderfully written. Each article has that ’can’t wait for the next one’ feel to them and you are left wondering who will be the next victim of her wit and scrutiny. For displaying her ‘ups and downs’ in such an articulate manner to the world she fully deserves a ‘Thinking Blogger’ award with my best wishes.

I sincerely hope that they all accept these ‘awards’ with the same grace I accepted mine – this may appear ‘just another tag’ on the surface but it has allowed me to give thanks, recognition and well deserved credit to these outstanding people who are at the pinnacle of writing – and are my own personal inspirations to continue searching, writing, developing and BEing the Change.

Long may it continue,

Love and Light to all of them,


Thursday, April 19, 2007

Stepping up to the challenge

I’ve been coming across many stories of courageous people that exceed all expectations despite suffering from illnesses, disabilities or debilitating mental problems. All these people are an absolute inspiration and each story I read gives me hope in human nature and at the same time shames me into doing more with my own life.

The downside of this is that the more you are aware of those that exceed and make huge advances despite the barriers that life has thrown in their way, so too the excuses and moans of those less inclined to do anything with their lives appear as a drain, dragging their shadow of negativity across the world. That’s fine if all they have a responsibility to is themselves but I hate to see it when they transmit the same traits to their children.

Children are taking over and parents are being encouraged to hand over control. New disorders and Syndromes are appearing at an alarming rate and the kids are frighteningly aware that they exist. What used to be called ‘lazy’ some people are quick to diagnose as Attention Deficit, Stamp Collectors have Aspergers syndrome and children who refuse to help Mom in the garden are probably suffering from Compulsive Cleanliness Tendencies.

But to many parents this is OK as it relieves them of the worry that they may be the subject of a future discussion with their offspring’s Counsellor or Psychiatrist. The suggestion that junior may actually have a medical condition with a fancy name absolves them of self blame when they spend too much time at work, out having ‘me’ time or simply sat watching TV, and no real quality time assisting their children to develop, playing a game or reading a book together.

I am speaking from experience as I became a step-father around three years ago and took on two children aged 8 and 6 who, it had been suggested, were suffering from a variety of conditions. This had never been diagnosed but the children themselves were fully aware of their supposed 'difficulties' and happy to tell you that they couldn't read, tell the time or tie their own shoes because they were Dyslexic.

I was shocked, and with their best interests at heart immediately insisted that they went to the Doctors for a full diagnosis so I could then contact help-groups and societies who were experts in the fields. My intention was to learn everything I could about the conditions and then also understand the skills necessary to assist the children in the best way I could. My partner had never had any support like this before and had done the best she could raising the children against a background of two previous abusive relationships.

So off the kids went to the Doctor, who then referred them to the hospital at my insistence for further tests as the Doctor “couldn’t be sure”. I went with my partner and the children to all the appointments and even joined in some work to look at the ‘family dynamics’ – which I actually enjoyed as it included us playing board games and drawing a huge picture together on a big piece of paper. The kind of things we were already doing at home as a family.

After many weeks and many visits to ‘specialists’ we were called in to talk about the conclusions. I was happy to hear that the oldest had no problems and that the youngest would be referred to ‘speech therapy’ to improve her speech a little. But none of the earlier suggestions had been correct. The kids had simply latched on to the conversations they had heard about them and had used them as an excuse to get away with trying – what kid wouldn’t, I know I used to try and get out of doing any kind of work at their age!

So now the hard work began – the children had fallen behind drastically with their school-work and they had never been introduced to Learning as being a FUN thing to do. I whisked them off to the book-shop and bought heaps of books – OK I also used this as an excuse to get all the Dr. Seuss books because I loved them so much – I then bought them full sets of funky pens, coloured pencils and felt-tips and lots of paper and coloured card.

The early days were a real struggle because they were adamant that they weren’t going to give up their ‘easy’ lives but unfortunately for them – I don’t give in too easily either. I set about making cardboard clocks with different coloured zones and hands that could be moved around, I downloaded everything ‘educational’ that I could find on the Net and I set time-tables that included work as well as play.

I developed a form of ‘punishment’ which entailed…………MORE work-sheets – the kids soon caught on that all they were doing by refusing to do their Learning was creating much more work for themselves in the future – a good Life Lesson there too. But they never caught on that the work-sheets were the same ones they’d already been given just simply cut and pasted into different orders (that’ll be our secret). I explained to them the meaning of ‘Privileges’ and explained how they could earn them or lose them depending on their behaviour and attitude. TV time was cut down and added to the Privilege list.

So we got into a good routine and the boundaries had been set. After a noisy and troublesome start the progress soon followed and with each accomplishment I showered them with praise and gave them material gifts, always learning related. The children soon learnt to tell the time and tie their own shoes and I often saw them sitting with a book.

Their school grades have gone up by leaps and bounds over the last couple of years and at Parents Evening, a couple of weeks ago, I was delighted to be told that both children had improved by two levels – an outstanding endeavour by both of them. I was so proud of them and their wide smiles meant the world to me, the hard work and frustrations of the last couple of years just melted away.

A love of learning is essential in this life and although I know I’m preaching to the enlightened – to the searchers and sharers of the ‘Community of Blog’ – its always worth reminding ourselves that its not enough to simply drift and hope, its always more worthwhile to face up to reality and make an active attempt to resolve any issues or difficulties. No matter how hard it seems at the time it is ALWAYS worth it in the long run.

BE the change you wish to see in the world.

Take care and strive to learn something new each day,


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Blog Apocalypse - Go find YOU

I’ve been tagged again but this time by K-L Masina to answer the challenge set by The Urban Monk and his Blog Apocalypse – you can find her article here.

The 'Blog Apocalypse' mission

The blogosphere is ending. No more blogs. Blog apocalypse.
The internet is still working, the world is fine. But you can’t write anymore.
Write your last post. Make it a good one. What is the reason you blog? What is
the last gem of knowledge you want to leave? What do you want to be remembered
for? Who are you? What is the meaning of life? Haha…well not exactly but you get
the point. Pour your heart into it.

And not only does he give you such an amazing mission but Albert will also donate money to charity for each article - How much of an insentive is THAT!

I’ve had this ‘on file’ for a few days as something this monumental deserves a more thoughtful approach. If the Blogging world had collapsed then I feel the sense of loss would be in relation to the work, inspiration, information and sense of Community that had fallen too.

The work put in to Blogging is phenomenal – the care and patience that is put into each loving creation ensures the ‘blogosphere’ is a moving, living and evolving entity – each minute of every day it is being fed and recreated by so many Blog Gardeners, carefully tilling the soil in which their hopes, dreams and ideas have been planted.

Those of us that use this medium are fascinated with information in one way or another and wish to share what we have found in the hope of inspiring and touching others. I’m a relative newbie to this pursuit and have already met some wonderful people by doing so, the community of Blog has become an addiction to me albeit a very worthwhile, positive and satisfying one.

So what would my last article be and what is the last gem of knowledge I’d choose to impart. My initial response would be to list all the words of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way or to copy some timeless thought provoking poem such as ‘Desiderata’ but the emphasis is on ME not my influences.

But in saying that are we not the sum of all that we have experienced – do I actually have anything original to add? If I’m to give you something that is wholly ME then I can only refer to the experiences I have lived through – those moments of joy, sadness, belief and despair that are mine alone.

Sifting through my memories there are many moments that were uplifting – times when all seemed well with life and the joy shone through but likewise the times of greatest learning have come from the darkest times – times when all looked lost and change was a matter of survival. Which of these stories from my life will add colour, depth and understanding for those who read it?

The answer to that, my friends, is none. For it to be rewarding YOU have to feel it – YOU have to experience the pain, the joy, the fear and the liberation. Its not for me to tell you how – that can only be a reference point not a full-on Learning experience. These memories are mine and merely stories to you, so look to yourself and find signposts in your past, present and future to where you’re meaning lies. You are unique and you are special and your mission is there should you decide to take it – but do so with caution as there are hard lessons to learn before you reach your prize.

So my answer to the ‘Blog Apocalypse’ tag comes down to this –

The answers you seek won’t be found on the internet, this is merely a tool to reference your thoughts – a mirror of millions of other personalities with a million other opinions – if you seek the meaning of life then go out and find but at the same time seek deeper within yourself – let THIS moment be the inspiration to do something GOOD today – good for you and for the higher good – smile and you will find happiness – find beauty in everything and you shall find peace and joy – soak up experience, YOUR experience, with every breath – take time to find yourself and enjoy the journey – your Teachers are waiting for you to find them, you have students that need you to arrive – your community is waiting for its newest member – you DO belong and you ARE needed – your VALUE is immense and YOU can make a difference – this life is for living and it only takes one moment, THIS moment, to grasp your destiny and to be everything you want to be – take it, hold on to it, nurture it, treasure it, BE it - Take care, Search for Truth, Remain positive - BE the change.

Love and Light


I’d like to take this opportunity to ‘tag’ the following authors with the ‘Apocalypse Blog’ mission

Debs @ deb_inside

Debs Brother Dave @
Rothacker reviews

Nathalie @
One Life among the Many

Titania @
Finding Life’s Enchantments

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Welcome to the Soul Terminal

I’m having a really crazy ‘trip’ and loving everything that is being thrown my way. The messages from Spirit are coming thick and fast in the form of ideas, thoughts and mostly ‘hints’. Annoying, mind-scratching hints that buzz around until I’ve done what they ask.

My major influence during this time has been Slade from ‘Shift Your Spirits’ and his e-mails and articles always seem to come just at the right time for me. I know he’s in the process of moving his site so check out
www.sladeroberson.com I’m sure it will be well worth your trouble.

One major ‘hint’ I received was on the definition of the word ‘Meeting’ and how in the past this would infer a colourful, spiritual assembly or gathering where our ancestors would have shared stories, sang and danced. In modern times the word has been soiled by Business and conjures images of tired old men in grey suits pouring through tedious agendas full of buzz-words and legality.

The other ‘hints’ came from questions Debs (who has also felt the ‘change bug’ and is now blogging more from the heart @
www.deb_inside.typepad.com ) sent me asking for my opinion on subjects I’d already covered in my Blog. Namely the ‘flowing Spirit of the Awen’ and the ‘Evolution of the Light’.

I have also been attracting artistic people in my ‘real’ life – an artist that paints fantasy and shamanic scenes, another who makes the most wonderful leaded windows, a VERY charismatic Archealogist, historian and TV Presenter who has much experience in the Spiritual Arts – you get the idea.

So here’s my suggestion of a bigger picture and why all these connections are coming to me.

I feel each of our Higher Purposes have a sub-clause that we will gather together and provide a sanctuary, market-place, library, temple and home for our kindred. A central, though ethereal, meeting place where stories can be shared, art is displayed, music can be heard and our ‘goods’ can be traded. A ‘Community of Light’ that will have an open door and guides at every turn.

Just imagine the CONNECTIONS that would be made here – it can be the NEXUS of Light and a resting place for the weary soul. Somewhere for those on their solitary paths to recharge enjoying a brief respite in their quests for their ever-changing Grails. A place to go for a spiritual band-aid with a potion of inspiration and love near to hand.

I feel that many people’s missions are currently evolving and that is why you are all restless – I feel that
www.soulterminal.com is central to this evolution as a kind of metaphysical ‘Philosophers Stone’. The way by which those with a connection with Spirit in whatever form will have an outlet for their ‘story’ – a way of turning the messages of Spirit into solid form.

Jeff Lilly from
www.druidjournal.net gave me a strong ‘hint’ when I e-mailed and asked him if he’d thought about writing a book and he replied he’d written many but needed an audience first. Imagine an on-line library which would rival Alexandria itself, all in e-book form, and all coached by your friends at the Soul Terminal.

We cannot deny that there is a new Evolution of consciousness. People are looking for meaning and only find the ramblings of ‘teen witches’ and the frilly flowery fairy brigade. If they look for answers in the past there are only dead religions with outdated ideas or the remnants of Spritual Churches being run by Ego’s bigger than Bush. Increase in interest in the Paranormal is growing by the day and they all need a home to take it all to the next level.

This is something much different than the hard edged business drive of many Personal Development forums and the Abundance will find its way to the worthy. We, my friends, may just be the ones to realise this Avalon of now.

I’ve spent some time looking for the right name for this place and the title ‘Soul Terminal’ came flashing bright in my mind. The title refers to people coming to harvest the light and also an assembly of those who work with Spirit. A point in space and time where fate forms cross-roads and brings us to connect.

Another ramble I know but I’ve been ‘hinted’ to tell you so who am I to argue – it’s pushed me this far ;)

If you’d like to visit the new site you can find it at
www.soulterminal.com and feel free to sign up and tinker with what you find. I have been holding back the release of the site until it is ‘totally ready’ but that would go against the whole ethos – it’s not MY site its EVERYBODIES site – it’s YOUR site.

As you’ll see it is fresh out of the box and lacking in content but I’m handing it over and your input and feedback are key – play and have fun but please let me know what else it needs to make it work for you. I’ll be eternally grateful.

Love and Light to ALL,


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Opening to Spirit - stumbles and humility

Guides are all around us and within us – you only have to ask and they will respond. In my own journey I’ve been making good progress in contacting my own Guides and have received messages that seem to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

My first glimpse of a Guide was many years ago when I attempted the activities detailed in a book by Sanaya Roman titled ‘Opening to Channel’. Following the ‘guidance’ of this book I managed to ‘meet’ the first of my Guides – a Druid. I never received any messages or his name and my interests soon drifted to other more mundane subjects.

Since the re-discovery of my path I have again seen this Guide while meditating. I asked him again what his name was only to receive a word that sounded something like ‘Dureded’. In my rush to see something deep and earth-shattering in this word I threw myself at the internet looking for the name of a God, a Legend or a religious figure of the past – there was nothing.

I then checked with my good friend Mark Olly what the word could possibly mean – to receive the reply “It sounds like the ancient pronunciation of the word ‘Druid’ – he’s telling you that’s what he is” – Duh! – Mark suggested that I “try asking the right question, where is it you want me to go?”. No wonder my poor Guide had just stood there looking at me with a glazed look on his face – he’d ended up with a real Duffer!

Another time, again during meditation, I felt a presence in the room with me and asked who it was – ‘Verante’ I heard in my mind. Again I rushed off to the computer to see what magnificent enlightenment I had received. I had pictures of Italian nobility flying through my mind, vast vaults of knowledge at their fingertips just waiting to impart them to ME.

Alas, nothing again. What was going on? What kind of messages was I being given for the benefit of mankind that I could not understand? I shared this story with my partner, Tara, for her to point out that it was probably ‘Your Auntie” as I have a very close Aunt Eileen who passed to the other side. Double Duh! I’d asked who was there and she had replied in a way that I would understand – or so SHE thought.

It is so easy when you are dealing with ideas that appear magical and extraordinary to read majesty into the messages you receive. I’m new to this and should not expect to transcend to the Highest Realm in the blink of an eye. I have uncovered a special gift and must take the time to learn my art. I now feel blessed for each word, picture or feeling I receive and wait patiently for the next piece of the jigsaw.

I know they are around and will desist from endless ‘tests of confirmation’ and will simply accept that the feelings I receive are from Spirit and that it is my pleasure to have been chosen to serve in this way. In a very short time the positivity and peace I receive in return are well worth the effort and I am truly thankful.

In time I hope to be able to experience a wider vista of everything Spirit offers to the human senses and will develop the ability to see, hear and be touched by those that seek me out. I will however be content to ‘feel’ their presence in my mind and pass on the ‘hints’ and insights on their behalf.

So what have I learnt that I wish to share with the world today – ‘Keep your feet on the floor and your head out of the clouds if you attempt to communicate with Spirit’. I know we must look up to the Heavens for Insight but I will be humble in my approach when they call on me to work with them.

Recently a new Guide has shown itself to me and appeared in meditation as a human outline filled with Stars - who or what this is I have no idea but am looking forward to finding out in good time.

Take care, search for Truth, remain Positive, BE the change,


Sunday, April 08, 2007

Reflections @ Easter

Today is Easter Sunday and I have been feeling much more ‘Christian’ recently in more of a standard religious way. Possibly for the first time in my life I have actually taken a real interest in the story of Jesus and the message that Easter sends out to the world and what it means to me.

I wouldn’t consider myself a committed Christian nor have I ever felt the need to visit a Church of any kind. Organised religion, in my mind, is, and has always been, one of the most destructive and negative forces in the World – ever. For someone to kill another human because they do not share the same belief system is ludicrous in the extreme. War to be waged ‘in the name of’ religion is a total hypocrisy.

But recently I have seen the positive side of it all. How religion gives people hope, solace and comfort. The guidance, community and belonging that many find in being a part of a congregation. The collective meditation that occurs during a service relieves some from everday stresses and strains and their belief supports many at times of great need.

Jesus to me was a man who stood up for the little people and spoke out against the oppression and corruption that he saw in HIS world. He expressed the hope of a people that had become disillusioned with their Holy Men and the Government of the time and the way they used belief as a form of control.

A revolutionary who preached an alternative way of life, encouraged understanding, and promoted personal and spiritual development. His church wasn’t a musty building made of stone – his church was inside himself. He didn’t need absolution for the way he lived his life – he knew he was on the right path. He trusted his intuition and was an inspiration for others.

I can relate to this picture of Jesus and try to live my life as best I can. Yeah, OK – I accept I’m human and I make mistakes but I always try to learn from them. I analyze my reactions and measure myself against everyone I know. I mirror the good I see and respect in others and I am much harder on myself than anyone else ever could be.

I am in a position in my life where I make sure I learn at least one new thing each day about the World and also one new thing about myself. It’s not enough for me to only look outwardly, there must be some time spent each day looking inside myself and tinkering with what I find. A tune-up of my sub-conscious with the aim of making it ‘purr’.

I do this in the hope that during my time in this world I cause the least pain or distress to others as is possible, but at the same time not allowing people to use me or those I care for. The way I see it, I don’t go out of my way to hurt anyone else so I don’t expect anyone to do it to me. I am the best friend that anyone could ever have, and will always attempt to ‘turn the other cheek’ – but I will always hold on to retribution and vengeance as an option.

So where would we find Jesus if he was born today? I don’t think he’d be a fat-cat business man, nor would he be shopping in GAP trying to keep up with the passing trends of the day. I think he’d be happier with the New Age crowd, Moshers, Punks, Skaters and Hippies. They’d be the ones that would pick up on his message of Peace, Love and Charity – casting off the material trappings and searching for Truth.

He’d want an end to wars based on deceit – selling the hope of ‘nobility’ to young people looking to make a difference and conned into serving a country that only sees them as a number. The ‘Rulers’ of today are no different to those in Ancient Times. Their motives are still greed and power and to retain control at all costs.

The Jesus of today would look to his so-called ‘Leaders’ and be mightily disappointed, he’d get out there and challenge the lies and deceit, the obsession for material one-upmanship would disgust him, he would look for alternative ways to get his message across - and there’s no doubt that Jesus would Blog.

Take care and may (insert own deity here) bless you,


Defining Freemasonry - Part Two - Royal Arch Chapter

In the second article in my ‘Defining Freemasonry’ series I will focus on the Royal Arch Chapter (Chapter). This ‘degree’ is the natural progression from Craft Masonry and the next step on the ladder for any Brother wishing to take his Freemasonry that bit further.

I am a member of two ‘Chapters’ and currently hold the position of Second Principal in one of them. Chapter meets around four times a year in comparison to the ‘Craft’ Lodge that meets around ten times a year.

When a Freemason has attained the rank of a Master Mason he is then entitled, after a period of one month, to be exalted into a Chapter in order to complete fully his Master Mason’s Degree. He is then in the Chapter, referred to as a Companion. Working your way up the positions you will take position as one of the Three Principles, thereafter you will be known as Excellent Companion.

Chapters meet independently to Lodges and in most cases one in three Masons are also Royal Arch Companions. A Chapter is normally attached to a Lodge. In The U.S. ‘Royal Arch Chapter’ is part of a collective known as ‘York Rite’.

The regalia is different to a Craft Lodge. It consists of an Apron with red and blue surround, a red and blue sash and a special ‘Jewel’ which Royal Arch Masons should also wear in their Craft Lodges in order to show the bond that exists between Craft and Chapter.

As in all Masonic degrees the ritual of the Royal Arch is an allegory. It helps to focus the minds of the Companions, without conflicting with their religious beliefs, to a contemplation of the nature of, and their relationship with their God which will be appropriate to their own religion.

A Chapter has a number of officers with particular titles but most important are the three Principals who collectively rule the Chapter for one year. Each year there is an Installation meeting for the new team of officers

On a national level, the Supreme Grand Chapter controls the affairs of the Royal Arch and officers are appointed at an Annual meeting. HRH The Duke of Kent is the First Grand Principal.

The Royal Arch Degree is the climax of Ancient Craft Masonry and Masonic Symbolism. It is described as "the root and marrow of Freemasonry." It is the complete story of Jewish History during some of its darkest hours. Jerusalem and the Holy temple are destroyed, the people are being held captive as slaves in Babylon.

Here you will join with some slaves as they are set free to return home and engage in the noble and glorious work of rebuilding the city and the Temple of God. It is during this rebuilding that they make a discovery that brings to light the greatest treasure of a Mason - the long lost Master's Word.

Many historians have traced the earliest origins of the Royal Arch Degree to Ireland, late in the 17th century and in England in 1738. In 1752, ambulatory or military warrants for Lodges were introduced. This was instrumental in placing the Royal Arch Degree on a par with the Master Mason Degree.

Military lodges were greatly responsible for planting Freemasonry in the Colonies and also gave birth to the use of the Mark and Royal Arch degrees in the "New World." Lodge records show that the Royal Arch Degree was conferred at Fredericksburg No. 4 on December 12, 1753. George Washington was raised in this lodge a few months prior to this date. The value of Royal Arch Masonry will be appreciated by all who are exalted to that most sublime degree, particularly by those who are seeking to complete their Masonic education. It reveals the full light of Ancient Craft Masonry, presents it as a complete system in accordance with the original plan and justly entitles you to claim the noble name of Master Mason.

Take care,

E. Comp. Damian

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Which Ark are you on? Trusting the Cosmos

Making progress in my career has always been a difficult area of my life and I have always envied and respected those people who are obviously attuned to their profession. Those people who have were at the right place at the right time and those who have a bottomless pit filled with grit, focus and determination.

You see my problem is that I have NEVER known what I wanted to do. I still don’t, and have no idea if there is a job out there that will allow me to read and research extensively (but only the subjects that appeal to me), spend the maximum quality time with my family and friends as possible and help as many people enjoy developing themselves as is feasible in the time I am allowed on this earth to tread my path.

If there is – I’d LOVE to hear from you.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who seems to have stumbled from one job to another with no sense of direction or 5 year plan. Surely WE must be in the majority as I’d hate to be one of the only ones who have been condemned to feel that I’ve ‘totally missed my calling’ somewhere along the way.

As I travel to and from work I look at all the stressed and unhappy faces I wonder why there isn’t a National ‘swap your job day’. Just one day where those that live in town ‘A’ but work in town ‘B’ say enough is enough and swap with those who live in town ‘B’ and work in town ‘A’. How great that would be to relieve congestion and pollution while at the same time seeing all those people reclaiming all that unnecessary lost time.

But that is why I have never had any focus in a career because I don’t really see the point in many of them. In one of my favourite books
‘A Hitch-hikers guide to the Galaxy’ by Douglas Adams (a trilogy in four parts) there was the tragedy of the Golgafrincham’s who fled there planet in three great spaceships in the wake of the destruction of their planet.

The people on the ships, called Arks, had been graded by the type of jobs they did and the first to be launched contained Hairdressers, Telephone Sanitizers, Management Consultants and Marketing executives. They then received a message that no-one else had escaped and that their planet had been destroyed.

This seems a sad story until you realise that the planet Golgafrincham creatively solved the problem of middle managers: it blasted them in to space. The useless third of their population had been packed in Ark 'B' and sent to an insignificant planet. It was quite poignant in the story that they then ended up landing on Earth and the inferrence is that they were our evolutionary ancestors.

Getting back to the point; I find while looking through Job sites, which has become a daily ritual for me, there are very few choices of career in which I can make a difference. There are reams of opportunities if your idea of benefiting the human race is to answer the telephone or sell people something they neither want nor need. I don’t want to ‘get rich quick – OTE’ and if I receive one more e-mail inviting me to take part in ‘a unique business opportunity that I can do from home’ I swear I’ll develop the technology to retrace the message and crush the company.

Maybe I’m too picky and I should send hope packing but I’m a good person and I try my best and feel in my heart that I deserve something better. So I’ve decided to take that Leap of Faith and throw myself on the mercy of the Universe and have decided to send out this message enveloped in Light and will do nothing until I receive a message which gives me positive direction.

“Dear Universe,
Please send me a worthwhile, enjoyable and well paid career without detriment to myself, my family, friends or connections. I ask that a positive message affirming this new direction be delivered by the 13th April 2007 as this will be my 37th Birthday. I thank you in advance for your guidance and assistance and thank Spirit for the wonderful and marvellous journey I am currently on, looking forward to future amazing developments. So mote it be.
Yours in Love and Light,

Immediately after writing this I received an ‘urge’ to step outside remembering that it is One O’Clock in the morning in the UK. I went out and looked up to the sky and watched the clouds drifting past a full moon. It was really beautiful and I decided to say this message out loud while looking to the heavens.

I finished and a few moments passed until it seemed as the Moon glowed much brighter for a couple of seconds as if in recognition to the message I have just sent. The clouds then came in much thicker and blanketed the Moon in their marshmallow embrace reminding me that I should be tucked up under the duvet on this chilly night.

But I’d never leave without passing on the story to you, my friends, and we’ll all have to wait 9 days to see what may come into my life. I certainly hope it’s the missing piece that would enrich my life and that of my family even further.

Take care and remember to be positive in all your pursuits.


Sunday, April 01, 2007

Re-tuning your life - the music in you

I’ve been enjoying a fantastic journey these past few weeks since the ‘connections’ started and I’ve been receiving messages that are opening up the world and Spirit for me in ways I’d never have dreamed.

On this point I want to say a big THANK YOU to Debs of ‘Deb_Inside’ and Slade of ‘Shift Your Spirits’ for the two surprise dedications I received this week for being the unknowing Shepherd in our Community. It was a great HONOUR to receive such mentions, wrapped in Love and Light, from two excellent Authors and dear friends that are a total inspiration to me – thanks guys.

These ‘messages’, or ‘hints’ as I prefer to call them, haven’t come in the expected way but more as feelings that I should send an e-mail to someone, that I need to visit a friend or even that I should just Surrender and go with the flow - like a branch on the shoulders of a great stream.

I’ll explain all of these ‘hints’ as they develop and flourish but in this post I have been ‘urged’ (this is what happens when a ‘hint’ grows stronger) to pass on this analogy which I have entitled ‘Re-tuning your life – the music in you’.

The basis of this is that we all have the ability to retune our lives like you would a piano. Taking each ‘string’ at a time and refining its vibration, with patience and skill until they all come together to create your personal Life Harmony. Once you’ve perfected you own Life Harmony you may always be destined to be a Soloist but there is always opportunity to form a duet, trio or a whole Symphony Orchestra with the rest of the Spiritual World.

A strange concept to come from me as I have NO musical background at all – and nothing but a passing interest of having one at a future juncture either. So let’s start typing and see where this leads – I’d never considered this process as Automatic Writing until a friend, Eleanor, pointed it out to me yesterday – but it works for me no matter what it is called.

The cause and effect of Vibration

Music is created by creating well-tuned sounds that transmit energy in the form of VIBRATIONS. This energy can affect you in very profound and subtle ways – the same way that I explained about the power of the WORD in
another article. This reminds me of a key-ring I was bought by someone who loved me which said ‘Where words fail, Music begins’.

Music can excite you, drag you down and help you shed tears, fill you with energy, empower anger and aggression, as well as soothing and assisting stillness - this all happens by the music, and the specific frequencies that constitute it, reacting with the particles in You to create a feeling that is individual to only you.

This explains why certain groups of people favour a variety of styles, artists or genre’s. What stirs the soul of one person will serve to aggravate someone else. The blends of styles react only to you and therefore each CD collection will emphasise the personality and Spirit of its owner.

This can also be seen in Colour, and in its perfected form of Art. Many people say they don’t appreciate or understand some forms of Art but it is simply that the colours used in that certain piece, constructed in that manner, aren’t in accord with the vibrations of the energy within.

When you break it all down we, and the world around us, are all made from different forms of particles that are in constant movement. These particles have the ability to set in motion catastrophic events but choose instead to respect the space they have been given and to provide order to their host. This they do without thought to create harmony and balance in their hosts and their wider influence in the universe.

If you can take a moment to step back and see the forces at work in the World and in your Life you may better be enable to understand and adapt. So take a moment to re-tune some aspect of your life and create a wonderful Harmony that will resonate and inspire your fellow creatures and the Spirit that flows through them and is shared by all things.

Take care and listen to the ‘hints’.


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