I drifted off daydreaming today and was thinking about one of those moments that was subtle in nature but ended up changing your perspective forever. Not one of the monumental earthquakes like seeing your first child born but a little quirk of fate that catches you by surprise but stays with you for eternity.
Many years ago I had spent the day shopping with my girlfriend at the time in Manchester City Centre and it was quite a hot day. It was a Saturday and very busy but we needed to pick up a few things that couldn’t be left to a quieter time.
We’d finally ticked off the last item on our list and as it was getting on for Six O’ Clock decided that we’d earned ourselves a drink or two and headed for our favourite hostelry for a rest and refreshment. We arrived soon after to find ‘The Crown’ relatively busy as other shoppers called in prior to heading home and the first of the night time revellers began their evenings campaign.
As the majority of the days expenditure so far had been covered by my meagre finances my companion offered to get the drinks while I found a place to stow the bags and set up camp. From where I was stood I could see that she wandered over to a space at the bar next to a slightly scruffy man who was leaning on the bar working his way through his drink.
I scanned around the room enjoying the reprise from the jostling of the shops and eagerly awaiting the first sip of my drink which directed my eyes back to the bar to see how the purchase of the drinks was progressing.
My acquaintance was still patiently waiting her turn but there was something in the manner of the scruffy man that made me take more notice. Every few moments he was casting a furtive glance down at my companion’s legs in a sort of twitchy nervous way but still pronounced enough to make the gesture obvious.
“Ah well” I thought, “Boys will be boys”, but the intensity of his agitation was growing and his attention on my girlfriend was getting beyond natural curiosity and attraction. He was almost bending to look more closely but with her attention on ordering the drinks my partner was totally oblivious to the attention she was receiving.
Other people had started to notice and I decided that this guy had overstepped the mark and stepped forward to confront him and request that he go elsewhere to act out his fantasises but he had become so obsessed that he didn’t notice that I had approached.
“Excuse me mate” I said in my best Mancunian accent rising up to my full six feet, “that’s my girlfriend that you are after, so hop it”, at which point she turned round with the drinks and he reached down to pick up the bag that she had inadvertently stepped in front of, obscuring his view of his belongings.
All the time his only concern had been for loosing his bag and he had no interest in making improper advances on my lady-friend. He took his bag, looked nervously at me and scurried out of the door.
I felt so bad – Why had I not noticed the bag? Why had I jumped to the wrong conclusion so quickly? Why had I been so hasty to see the worst in another Human Being? Why had I been so confrontational and possessive?
For weeks afterwards I went over and over the way I had acted, how easily things could have gotten out of control. I was shocked by how easily I had judged that man and labelled him a sex pest. I vowed that I would never react in the same way again.
Too often we are swift to react without taking a moment to fully assess the situation and look at the possible alternatives. So much pain and injustice comes as the result of acting without thought. Take the time to see through the ego at the reality beyond.
Take care, search for truth.
Damian
Many years ago I had spent the day shopping with my girlfriend at the time in Manchester City Centre and it was quite a hot day. It was a Saturday and very busy but we needed to pick up a few things that couldn’t be left to a quieter time.
We’d finally ticked off the last item on our list and as it was getting on for Six O’ Clock decided that we’d earned ourselves a drink or two and headed for our favourite hostelry for a rest and refreshment. We arrived soon after to find ‘The Crown’ relatively busy as other shoppers called in prior to heading home and the first of the night time revellers began their evenings campaign.
As the majority of the days expenditure so far had been covered by my meagre finances my companion offered to get the drinks while I found a place to stow the bags and set up camp. From where I was stood I could see that she wandered over to a space at the bar next to a slightly scruffy man who was leaning on the bar working his way through his drink.
I scanned around the room enjoying the reprise from the jostling of the shops and eagerly awaiting the first sip of my drink which directed my eyes back to the bar to see how the purchase of the drinks was progressing.
My acquaintance was still patiently waiting her turn but there was something in the manner of the scruffy man that made me take more notice. Every few moments he was casting a furtive glance down at my companion’s legs in a sort of twitchy nervous way but still pronounced enough to make the gesture obvious.
“Ah well” I thought, “Boys will be boys”, but the intensity of his agitation was growing and his attention on my girlfriend was getting beyond natural curiosity and attraction. He was almost bending to look more closely but with her attention on ordering the drinks my partner was totally oblivious to the attention she was receiving.
Other people had started to notice and I decided that this guy had overstepped the mark and stepped forward to confront him and request that he go elsewhere to act out his fantasises but he had become so obsessed that he didn’t notice that I had approached.
“Excuse me mate” I said in my best Mancunian accent rising up to my full six feet, “that’s my girlfriend that you are after, so hop it”, at which point she turned round with the drinks and he reached down to pick up the bag that she had inadvertently stepped in front of, obscuring his view of his belongings.
All the time his only concern had been for loosing his bag and he had no interest in making improper advances on my lady-friend. He took his bag, looked nervously at me and scurried out of the door.
I felt so bad – Why had I not noticed the bag? Why had I jumped to the wrong conclusion so quickly? Why had I been so hasty to see the worst in another Human Being? Why had I been so confrontational and possessive?
For weeks afterwards I went over and over the way I had acted, how easily things could have gotten out of control. I was shocked by how easily I had judged that man and labelled him a sex pest. I vowed that I would never react in the same way again.
Too often we are swift to react without taking a moment to fully assess the situation and look at the possible alternatives. So much pain and injustice comes as the result of acting without thought. Take the time to see through the ego at the reality beyond.
Take care, search for truth.
Damian
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